Things We’re Freaking Out About

This article is meant to give a little insight into the current headspace at CoinDesk — we’re hoping it becomes a recurring thing. The company recently laid off some of the finest reporters and editors covering crypto, which sucks. No one here is happy.

Could things be worse? It’s hard to imagine. But at least we’re not as low as Sam Bankman-Fried, the disgraced founder of FTX, who was recently thrown in one of the worst penitentiaries in the U.S. after abusing the conditions of his bail.

If there is a silver lining of the former media darling doing the unbearably petty thing of leaking his former girlfriend and colleague Caroline Ellison’s diary, it’s learning the pill-popping, salt-licking former billionaire is a bundle of anxiety.

Part of Ellison’s testimony in the trial slated to begin this October could be her running list “Things Sam is Freaking Out About” which apparently included money trouble and bad press. Oh, Sam, if only you knew the hole you were digging.

In a nod to Ellison and SBF, CoinDesk decided to memorialize some of things we’re freaking out about. Hopefully it won’t be used as evidence in court against us — we’re bad with money, but not criminally bad.

The SEC Has No Idea How to Regulate Crypto

Mold at MDC, SBF’s new home

Getting replaced by Grammarly

Wasted time on hype around things like AI and LK-99

Humanity’s collective hours spent on YouTube

HBO mashup How To with John Adams

The death of my mint plant

$1 billion liquidated in a flash crash: blockchain circuit breakers?

Why does no one say Jiminy Cricket anymore?

My god, a cricket deuteragonist!

Who’s going to a 9:30 A.M. screening of “Barbie?”

SEC view on regulating and crypto’s view differs wildly