Are Bitcoiners A**holes?

We’ve been dubbed “Toxic Bitcoin Maximalists” as an attempted insult. We don’t flinch, we wear it as a badge of honor. We make no apologies for our matter-of-factness, our confidence or our meme warfare. You can find us on Twitter, responding to weak arguments against bitcoin (they are all weak) with “Have Fun Staying Poor” rather than attempting to persuade the unserious opponent or lazy critic. Michael Saylor aptly refers to bitcoiners as “Cyber Hornets,” not just because hornets have stingers, but presumably because hornets serve a greater purpose that sustains the broader ecosystem. 

The thing is, Bitcoiners are right. Which necessarily means every other economic philosophy is wrong. The end. Gold ain’t it. Fiat is basically toilet paper. Altcoins? Lol. 

No, Bitcoin is the solution. 

Our conviction in Bitcoin’s inevitability is a naturally-emergent phenomenon that exists as a feature to kill the bugs. This isn’t to suggest that an absence of our hilarious memes would weaken the network. But, just like hornets who serve to prevent the harmful spread of pervasive insect populations, our proactive aggression is literally protecting the future of humanity by preserving our one shot at the promise of liberation from tyranny. A passive or defensive posture simply will not do. 

By protecting the network in its early stages, we’re continually paving the way for bitcoin’s ascent and its inevitable dominance as the global currency. This service to the world community is underappreciated and vastly misunderstood. That’s okay! Our vigilance is our evangelism. In a world of subjective truth, our conviction is our marketing. In a culture inundated with hopelessness, our genuine optimism provides unexpected encouragement to those starving for authenticity.

The world we inhabit has become a cesspool of lies and violence. Very little good remains present under the sun. Every institution has become corrupted. Orwell’s vision is upon us and few seem to care. It is evident that society is being reset by powerful forces, and as we experienced in 2020, things are getting weird. Bitcoiners agree that a reset is needed, though we insist and will prevail in facilitating a reset denominated in satoshis. A reSat, if you will. 

Bitcoin itself is the answer to just about every macro problem humanity faces. This fact is increasingly obvious to any person who bothers to watch a quality YouTube video lasting 10 minutes with a sincerely open mind. That is, if YouTube hasn’t already banned that video, being the corrupt institution that it has become. 

We inhabit times marred by an ongoing existential emergency that requires focused vigilance in order for us to overcome. Bitcoiners are among the kindest, most dependable and generous people on earth. One of our most popular memes is an exhortation to remain humble. We possess a deep desire to see our fellow human and huwoman flourish. We use humor to make our points, while insisting the seriousness and urgency of our present moment in history. We don’t need gratitude, but we are aware of the importance of being early adopters and our ability to see where things are headed if we don’t correct course with haste. 

When I was a teenager, I played a lot of video games and was a bit lazy. Ok, I was hella lazy. I will never forget the day my dad confronted me and said, “George, you need to stop wasting your life and start taking your future seriously or you’re going to be a loser.” 

It was in Arabic (which, as you can imagine, made it more intense) so this is a loose translation. It obviously stuck with me and was a turning point in my life. I didn’t like hearing that, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. Not too long ago, I started recognizing similar patterns in my own teenaged son and, naturally, dropped the same blunt wisdom on him, but in English. The next day, he said to me: “Dad, you’re right and you really got me thinking. Thank you.” 

Now, he’s watching Ministry of Nodes tutorials and asking detailed questions about Clark Moody’s dashboard. Yes, I’m crying.

I love my son much more than strangers on Twitter. But in many ways, the wisdom that Bitcoiners are attempting to impart on anyone we encounter is not too different from these stories. It’s quite simply time to look around and stop being compliant. It’s time to take our lives and our futures seriously. If you’re not convinced, there’s not much left to say besides: Have fun staying poor. 

This is a guest post by George Mekhail. Opinions expressed are entirely their own and do not necessarily reflect those of BTC Inc or Bitcoin Magazine.

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